Grieving after Divorce: Finding Me Again

Divorce is a different kind of grief. It’s not just the end of a relationship—it’s the loss of roles, routines, and even relationships you thought were solid. For me, it meant grieving my identity as a wife, as the planner of family events, and as someone who built a life around partnership. It meant watching friendships shift, not by word but by action, as some people’s presence faded when my marriage ended.

Becoming a single mother wasn’t just about parenting alone; it was about the weight of responsibility that suddenly felt heavier. Co-parenting has been a journey of highs and lows, moments of cooperation followed by challenges that require patience and grace. Financially, going from a two-income household with shared expenses and tax benefits to solely maintaining a home for myself and my daughter has been a transition that tested my resilience. Every time I felt like I was gaining ground, an unexpected expense or setback would come, knocking me back a few steps.

And yet, through it all, I have remained present. If nothing else, I made sure that my daughter felt safe, that our home was one of peace, and that I showed up for myself in the ways that truly mattered. I have done the work on my mental and emotional well-being, reminding myself that healing is a journey, not a destination. I’ve learned to hold my head high, keep my faith, and trust that stability—financially, emotionally, and in love—will come in due time.

I am beyond grateful for the family, the sisters, and the friends who check in, who show up without expectations, who help with childcare or simply make time to be present without requiring an expensive outing. Their support has been a reminder that I am not alone, even when the weight of rebuilding feels heavy.

This process has been humbling, but also freeing. For the first time in years, I get to rediscover myself—not as someone’s wife, not as part of a couple, but as me. The freedom to let laundry sit for two days, to sleep in, to blast music and dance around my house, to have uninterrupted time with my daughter—these are the joys I now embrace. I am reestablishing my values, creating new routines, and defining what I truly want in my next season of life.

The road isn’t easy. There are still tough days, still moments when the weight of uncertainty brings tears. But through it all, I have found a peace I haven’t felt in over a decade. I’ve learned which battles to fight and which to walk away from, trusting that whichever path I take, God has the final say.

To the women who are heading toward divorce, in the process, or starting over—I see you. I know the grief, the exhaustion, the moments where you wonder if you’ll ever feel secure again can be a challenge. But I also know that with each step forward, you are building something new. Hold on. Keep going. Stability will come. Love will find you again. And most importantly, so will you.

Blessings,

ChaKeita Dickson, NeoSoulYoga